Anxiety

My Anxiety has been through the roof this weekend.  I dont know if its because of our living sitaution or what it is.  I had a really bad and painful Friday & Saturday night due to my endo and Sunday was all full of anxiety.  Im trying to think of what could cause it.  On Thursday we got a call from the management office that we could get out of our lease.  This is very exiciting for me, however I now have to figure out where we are going to move to.  We currently want to move into a house but, I dont have the means to buy a fridge, a washer & dryer etc.  So, now im anxious.  We have been driving around all weekend looking for "for rent" signs.  I dont want to live in any ol place either.  I need a decent area that I am not going to lose sleep at night wondering if my house is going to get broken into.  I am sooooooo paranoid.  I need to just have faith in God that he will help us find our next home. 

Speaking of my relationship with God.  Latley I have been having a lot of anxiety of the end of days.  Not because of the Mayan calendar or whatever but, because of the book of revalation and all the disaster that has been surrounding us.  I prayed last night for God to give me some type of answer some type of calmness.  So this morning I wake up to a song in my head that I have heard on KSGN "greater things are yet to come".  Sometimes I cant believe the way that he speaks to me.  More on that later.

Lastly I want to tell you it was really neat watching Real Housewives of OC last night because on last nights episode besides all the women being total messes , Tamra & her boyfriend went to a restaraunt called Casa Del Camino.  If you dont know that is where Caden, CJ & I spent Easter two years ago and had the best time and that is where Cj and I had our 8 year anniversary dinner on December 1st, 2009.  Also, that is when CJ and I got engaged !  It was pretty cool to see the place on TV and also to see pretty much the exact table we sat at on the roof top (after we had dinner in the dining room) when he was suddenly very nervous! 

So, anyways...Because of my anxiety level and all of that I think ill take a walk outside at work and say a little prayer.