Ive decided its time to clear my head. Its time to make things easy and simple the way it used to be. So I made a list of things I need to let go of.
#1. Grudges..(There are people in my life that have hurt me, scarred me, cut me deeply, made me miserable, unable to trust etc.)...I need to get over it and move on. Those people are not part of my life any longer and they may now be totally different people, and I need to move on. They are probably not losing sleep over me so I am not going to of them
#2. Marriage:. I want to get married so badly. I love CJ more than anything. He is my best friend, a good dad, he makes me laugh and he loves me. Marriage however has not come very easily to him. We just dont agree. I just need to take a step back and realize its going to happen when it happens. I want him more than I want to be married. I would love for it to happen tomorrow but, when it doesnt, I cant feel dissapointed, I should feel lucky that I have a best friend who loves me dearly and works hard. He does want to get married to me someday I know that...And when it happens im sure I will least expect it. Thats how he likes to do things
#3. Work Issues- I am always going to work hard and I may not get all the recogition for all the hard work I put in, But, one day it will pay off. I know at the end of the day I can sleep at night knowing that I have done my best that day to provide for my family and to show Caden how you are supposed to be at the workplace
#4. Issues that cant control- I cant control everything...I cant control the traffic, the weather, the news, people around me, the neighbors who fill my house up smelling of pot and are illegally subleasing, the battery life of my cell phone, the Crowds in southern California..I need to let it all go and just focus on things that matter to me and be happy that I have to drive in Traffic, because I have a job..and that I have a home to live in and food to eat.
#5. My weight- Im trying...Im trying to just not obsess over it. (this one is a hard one)
I feel like I should probably live my life like Im taking Zanex (but without the Zanex) Calm cool and collected...and when I want to cry, I can still cry and when Im mad I can still get mad but I need to just let things go, move on and Love and be thankful for the awesome things I do have in my life. Especially the awesome son that I have.
Next Blog...All About Caden
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